Okay, if I get pregnant now, I could go on leave during the summer when the students are on break…” This was me, carefully counting back the months to plan the perfect time for my pregnancy. If I was going to do this, I needed a plan. Plans made me feel better. Plans gave me control.
Guess you could say I’m a little high strung. You know that butterfly feeling you sometimes get in the pit of your stomach? I have that. A lot. Despite all the “OMs” I do in yoga class, with that illusion of calm on my face… I am a worrier.
And so, like always, I had a plan.
I got the books—“What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” “The Happiest Baby on the Block”… I had an outline for what type of parent I would be, what life would be like as a mom.
Fate is cruel to planners. Lila was premature. There was no time to wrap up work projects, no time to set up the nursery, no time to even pack my hospital bag. Within a few hours of labor, I was a mom.
Fast forward, I am now the mom of a preschooler and all my original ideas of “mommyhood” have pretty much gone out the window. The “plan” of what type of mother I would be? Um… Yeah… The plan is now called survival.
The TV has babysat while I have attempted to clean the house. The Iphone has entertained during grocery shopping. Candy has been used for “positive reinforcement” (aka bribery). I have lied for convenience. (I am not proud it.)
Thank God for my mama friends— veteran moms, new moms, moms of one or a dozen, we are in it together with hilarious stories, pep talks, solid advice, and most importantly, no judgment! It is that awesome connection with other moms that has inspired this blog, with friends Ellyn and Annabelle.
When a new pregnant mom asks what she should expect? I haven’t the slightest idea. I do know that if you think you have a plan it will unravel again and again and again. Seriously. We are figuring it out as we go along.