Towards the end of a fun, impromptu play date at Clara’s
house, I start the 10 minute count down, as I always do.
Me: Lila, we have to
start wrapping up to go home.”
Lila (not looking away from the TV): Why?
Me: Because it’s
a school night and we have to get back to our routine.
Lila: What routine?
I smack my own forehead, speechless.
Ah, yes. The bedtime and morning routine— the two-headed monster
I’ve been battling day after day, night after night. Apparently, he’s an imaginary
monster whom only I can see… and feel… and agonize over. This is my own
personal battle. When my sweet, well-meaning husband tries intervening with a “perhaps I could offer a different approach”
I wield my sword toward him—“NEVER!!!”
I shall conquer this monster with my
mighty mommy powers!!
Uh huh. Yeah. I have no idea what I am doing.
First, it was the night time routine. Somehow I
was stuck in the routine of staying in the bed with Lila until she goes asleep. This results in me falling asleep in her bed and then waking up
in the middle of the night to stumble back into my bed to my now sleeping
husband. Needless to say, I have little to no downtime for myself or the hubby. (Not
healthy.) My attempts to wean Lila off of having me in the bed have been met with
tears and pure manipulation—
Lila: Mommy, why don’t
you want to be with me???
(How in the world do I answer that question?)
Me: Of course, I want
to be with you but…
Lila: WHAHHHHH!!!
And, I’m back in the bed staring at the glow-in-the-dark
stars on Lila’s bedroom ceiling. Lila’s fast asleep with a subtle grin. (You have won this battle, but the war has just begun, my sweet.)
Out of desperation, despite my husband’s silent protest, I
brought up my dilemma at a parents' meeting at school. My story conjured up
lots of emotion with the other parents. (Phew! I was not alone.) I was given loads of advice, empathy, and well
wishes. That night I faced the monster (aka the bedtime routine) with a renewed
confidence.
Me: Lila, we had a talk at your school and they said you are
too big now to have your mommy sleeping in the bed with you. So, starting
tonight, after story, I am going to say good night and leave.
Silence... The jig was up. I have not slept in Lila’s room since.
That was seriously
too easy. After all of those nights, that was it. Success! But it was not a total victory.
The morning routine
was still rearing its ugly head.
At school in the morning Lila is expected to do 3 things:
1)
Put her folder in the homework basket.
2)
Place her “book buddy” folder on the shelf.
3)
Hang her jacket and back pack in the locker.
Classroom rule- Parents are not to intervene. Parents cannot do these things for
their child. It’s all about building independence and responsibility and blah blah blah,
I know, I know. I get it. It is just sooooooo frustrating when on "day 34" of the
school year, kids are coming in and out, doing the routine 1-2-3, and your
little one is in La La Land! Jacket on the floor… folder falling out of the
back pack… 10 minutes later, still in the classroom… And I can’t help but
wonder, “what am I doing wrong?!?!”
My
husband’s interpretation is that I "baby her too much" and I need to "just drop
her off and leave." Maybe there’s some truth to that (whatever), but I just can’t handle
leaving with the image in my mind of Lila and her stuff all over the place. “She needs me” I convince myself. "She can't do this alone." I lose sleep thinking about it (making the newly
accomplished night time routine a mute point—I’m not sleeping anyways)!
But, this morning in the shower it came to me! To the melody
of Oh My Darling, Clementine—
"Homework
basket, homework basket, homework basket, book buddy.
Hang
your back pack and your jacket,
and
then you’re ready!"
I came running down the stairs, dripping wet with my towel, where Lila was eating breakfast and watching TV. I proudly sang my tune. Lila smirked and amazingly, it worked! This was the very first morning that
Lila successfully completed her routine without assistance.
The song
was brilliant!
Lila: Mom, please DO NOT sing that song in my classroom!Me: I won't unless you need me too, Sweetie.
Hey, whatever works... {Insert evil laugh here.} Mommy wins!
-Tara
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